Above All Else, I'm Physically Disabled First

Recently, I saw a play called Bright Half Life. The play was written by Tanya Barfield and it follows the lives of an interracial lesbian couple throughout the course of their relationship. Erica is white and Vicky is black. One day, the couple is discussing privilege and oppression. Vicky reminds Erica of her identity as a black person and how that has impacted how society views her, sometimes in a negative way. She reminds Erica that she doesn't have to deal with racial oppression because she is white. "But I'm gay and a woman!" Erica reminds Vicky. Vicky then says to Erica that she is too, but that she is "black first, always." When the actress who played Vicky delivered the powerful, eye-opening line, I nodded in agreement as an audience member hearing this. I nodded because even though I am white, I could relate to this statement in a big way because of my physical disability.

My physical disability (cerebral palsy) is very visible an audible. Whenever I go out in public, I use a wheelchair to aid in my mobility. Being a wheelchair user lets people know immediately that you are without question physically disabled. Due to this, you are also labeled as different from most people. People more often than not will notice your physical disability first because it's the number one marker of what makes you different or a member of a minority group.

Being physically disabled almost always overshadows the fact that I am all of my other identities that I say that I am, even the ones that are also overt, evident, or correctly predetermined such as my identities as a white cisgender woman. These identities are taken into account when seeing me for the first time too, but they're not something that is discussed or focused upon to the same degree as my physical disability. That is to say, everybody notices/correctly assumes that I am a white cisgender woman, but nobody really inquires about it. Whenever I meet someone for the first time, the first thing that people will ask me is, "Why are you in a wheelchair?" or "What's wrong with your legs?" and not something about my race or even my gender.

Moreover, if I want to, I can hide the fact that I am mentally ill, have learning disabilities, and am a part of the queer community (in terms of my sexual orientation). I have the option to disclose those things, unlike my status as a person with a visible/audible physical disability.

To other queer folks, cisgender women, and/or people with invisible disabilities, I ask you to please be aware of this.

3 Similarities Between Misogyny and Ableism

In honor of March being both International Women’s Month and Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month, I have decided to shed some light on the similarities between misogyny and ableism because this is rarely talked about, if ever. This piece will focus on ableism related to physical disabilities mostly.

1. People objectifying your body.

It is widely known throughout the feminist community that the objectification of women’s bodies is one of the most prominent issues within the general issue of misogyny. Many men tend to think it’s okay for them to touch women without them asking or to comment on how their body looks during inappropriate times. This results from over-sexuakization of women’s bodies and also the fact that men are supposed to feel “powerful” and “in control.”

While people with disabilities are often desexualized due to infantilization, women with disabilities often get objectified too. People think they have the right to touch or make comments about our bodies without asking. It’s not sexual, rather, it’s the opposite, but it still occurs in the same way: people rubbing your back without asking, people calling you “beautiful” when you don’t even know them, I could go on.

And both able-bodied women and disabled people often don’t know how to respond when situations like these occur because they’re so uncomfortable.

2. People are surprised when you can do certain things.

Misogyny and ableism tend to operate under the same philosophy: women and disabled people are considered “weak” or “incompetent.” Many misogynists are surprised when women are able to do physical things, i.e., play sports, build things, etc. Because of this, they often insist on doing things for us, even if we say we can do it ourselves.

While most physically disabled people would have a difficult time playing sports or building things, we get the exact same response from able-bodied people as able-bodied women get from able-bodied men. Able-bodied people often doubt the capabilities and competence of disabled people.

3. People are surprised when you open your mouth and speak your mind.

I consider myself to be an outspoken person with a strong personality. I am a passionate advocate for social justice causes. When somebody does something that I don’t like, I’ll usually speak up and say something. This surprises many able-bodied people because they often expect me to be meek, mild, and quiet. But when I go ahead and open my mouth, they stand corrected.

Women, both abled-bodied and disabled experience this too. Because of the patriarchy, there is an implicit expectation for women to keep their mouths shut. Patriarchal society operates under the belief that men should speak their mind and be powerful, while women should not.

I hope that reading this post shed some light on the similarities between misogyny and ableism.