Above All Else, I'm Physically Disabled First

Recently, I saw a play called Bright Half Life. The play was written by Tanya Barfield and it follows the lives of an interracial lesbian couple throughout the course of their relationship. Erica is white and Vicky is black. One day, the couple is discussing privilege and oppression. Vicky reminds Erica of her identity as a black person and how that has impacted how society views her, sometimes in a negative way. She reminds Erica that she doesn't have to deal with racial oppression because she is white. "But I'm gay and a woman!" Erica reminds Vicky. Vicky then says to Erica that she is too, but that she is "black first, always." When the actress who played Vicky delivered the powerful, eye-opening line, I nodded in agreement as an audience member hearing this. I nodded because even though I am white, I could relate to this statement in a big way because of my physical disability.

My physical disability (cerebral palsy) is very visible an audible. Whenever I go out in public, I use a wheelchair to aid in my mobility. Being a wheelchair user lets people know immediately that you are without question physically disabled. Due to this, you are also labeled as different from most people. People more often than not will notice your physical disability first because it's the number one marker of what makes you different or a member of a minority group.

Being physically disabled almost always overshadows the fact that I am all of my other identities that I say that I am, even the ones that are also overt, evident, or correctly predetermined such as my identities as a white cisgender woman. These identities are taken into account when seeing me for the first time too, but they're not something that is discussed or focused upon to the same degree as my physical disability. That is to say, everybody notices/correctly assumes that I am a white cisgender woman, but nobody really inquires about it. Whenever I meet someone for the first time, the first thing that people will ask me is, "Why are you in a wheelchair?" or "What's wrong with your legs?" and not something about my race or even my gender.

Moreover, if I want to, I can hide the fact that I am mentally ill, have learning disabilities, and am a part of the queer community (in terms of my sexual orientation). I have the option to disclose those things, unlike my status as a person with a visible/audible physical disability.

To other queer folks, cisgender women, and/or people with invisible disabilities, I ask you to please be aware of this.