Written December 2012.
(An aspiring cookie monster's guide to awesome uncensored SPED advice coming from a double-whammy-er with a physical disability AND a learning disability among other things... and not the stuff they teach you in school)
1. Be good at gossiping. And love it and own it.
Okay, the first thing you should know about this is that the majority of each student's information should be kept strictly confidential and under huge wraps. The second thing you should know about this is SPEDies go to buttloads of meetings. Between these two things, you have to be an awesome gossiper. And be prepared for other faculty members coming up to you in somewhat of a crazed and tumultuous manner.
2. Come up with code words or learn some that have already been firmly established.
Because of the piece of advice above, you're going to have to come up with a system of code or become "fluent" in the code that's already established, as to keep student confidentiality respectable. Obviously, for the system to work, I really don't know all of the ins and outs of SPED coding. But I do know some of the methods that they use. First of all, they will often use odd body language for clarity before they start to talk in verbal code for clarity between them and the other people in the group. That way, the verbal code is not so enigmatic, but it's still "a little birdie and you-know-what type" conversation. Another technique that they use is saying "Our little friend..." or using the person's initials.
3. Be prepared to have to verbally bitch slap people and have you be verbally bitch slapped too.
Let me explain. I know this must seem so unprofessional and vulgar and inappropriate. And they don't openly do it, but sometimes you have to. Okay, let's face it. Whether you're in the special education department or a cole miner, you're gonna have colleagues that you're gonna want to punch in the face sometimes. What makes the special ed department different though is that when you're actively part of child's IEP team, you will have to come to a consensus with the other members of the Team, the child's parents, and the child themselves. All that this piece of advice is telling you to do is to not be afraid to call people out when needed.
4. DO NOT (I repeat do not) engage in what we call "low-talking" or odd gestures.
Okay, so, I cannot stress this enough. "Low-talking" is when SPEDies who want to verbally bitch slap someone use the awful tactic of making their voice very low, deep, quiet, and slow in conjunction with sugar coating everything. Another thing to keep in mind do not use weird hand gestures around your face to get people to pay attention to you. People aren't stupid.
5. Make the child part of it.
Again, I cannot stress the enough. Even if the child is not old enough to officially attend IEP meetings, make sure you clear ANY and ALL the decisions with them first. Remember that this is there life and they need to be the one that's ultimately in charge of it.
6. Don't extricate the option of a four-year college if you think the child is bright.
If you plan on working with high school students, if you think they're bright and you think they have a good work ethic (depression, fatigue, and medical leave aside), and think that the student could have a meaningful contribution to society, please do not extricate the option of a four-year college to them This is explored more in-depth in my Teen Ink article, "You can go: Bright disabled teens thrive in four-year colleges"
7. Come to the realization that they try super hard to gain independence.
Really, having any sort of disability means that you have an innate difficulty with an aspect of daily functioning or simple tasks in conjunction with age not for lack of trying and with a biological reason. So, know that everything is much harder, even for the things that we can do. Think of the line in Allison Iraheta's, "Scars" that says, "Do you know how hard I've tried to become what you want me to be?"
8. Remember that we are extremely prone to depression, anxiety, and fatigue.
I can readily say that I suffer from bouts of all of these and they can be unexplainably debilitating. They can impair our ability to complete work and tasks as well as get through the day and they are not a sign of weakness.
Take them aside during some of the dark times and show that you care and work some of the things out with them. That's how a person who I once thought hated my guts recently became one of my best friends.
9. Befriend them.
This is not to say that there aren't boundaries or you have the licensure to be creepy, but getting to know them or somewhat of a personal level helps them to trust you more with their life. I should know because four of my best friends are or have been on my IEP team. (yes, legit besties!)
10. Make them feel special.
Make each individual student feel like they are your only student. Get accommodations for the as soon as possible and love what you're doing
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